Self-care is More than a Candle and a Bubble Bath
Societal and cultural expectations have manipulated what, “self-care,” can be. Self-care has become this aesthetic mood board that consists of skin care routines, fuzzy socks, bubble baths, and essential oils as ways of, “treating yourself.” Hear me when I say, self-care can DEFINITELY be those things. We loooove those things. Sometimes self-care HAS to be those things. However, we want to take this opportunity to challenge your idea of what self-care can be and explore how this is so critical for the holiday season (but also, always).
Let’s start by defining what self-care is. As providers who sit in front of people doing some of the hardest work they will ever do in their lives, we often see that self-care can be one of the hardest things people choose to do for themselves in the process. Self-care is intentionally creating a world that you want to be fully present in. Yep. That’s it. So vast - because it’s unique to each person. It’s definitely not easy to do, but ultimately self-care is values-aligned, intentional boundaries, coping through, and doing the next right thing.
Living Values-Aligned
As humans who live in a world of diet culture and societal pressures we are inundated with what we ‘should’ value and what things ‘should’ matter. Isn’t that how diet culture continues to saturate our feed? Humans are sold this idea that if we *fill in the blank* then everything will be better/fixed/changed. This has weaved its way into the self-care conversation.
Something we talk a lot about in eating disorder recovery work is living in a way that is authentic to your values. The eating disorder and diet culture will manipulate what you care about and what you spend your time thinking about or putting energy toward. We want to walk alongside you to explore what YOU - authentic YOU - values. Wait, you thought you were reading a blog about self-care. What does this have to do with self-care? Everything, my friend.
If we believe that self-care is creating a world that you want to be fully present in rather than run from, figuring out where to start begins with identifying your values. How do you know what you want to spend time and energy creating for yourself if you do not know what you value?
An entire blog on identifying values is likely to be in our future (don’t you worry!), but we want to leave you with some questions to think about in order to start identifying what you value most.
If you had 3 minutes to talk about the thing that matters to you the most, what would you talk about?
How do you want others to feel in your presence?
What are your top three “non-negotiables” in life?
Answering these questions will point you in the right direction. Brainstorm. Let yourself consider what space you want to take up in the world and how you want to be.
We love some Brene Brown around here, and she does phenomenal work on values. We encourage you to consider looking at her list of values and digging in there. We are here to do this work with you and will continue to emphasize how this conversation can largely contribute to healing your relationship with food and body.
What you care about matters. What you value matters.
Using Your Voice
Another form of self-care we want to highlight is using your voice. Whether you can fully lean into it or not, we want to speak truth over you because your voice also matters.
Self-care is about being intentional with your time, listening to what you need, and taking action to make those things happen. We want to acknowledge that using your voice can be so, so hard. Many come from difficult backgrounds that have made us believe our voice does not matter. We are the first to remind you that your voice matters and we will be your biggest cheerleader on your path to finding your voice.
Using your voice is about protecting the boundaries you have. In the hustle culture and constant access world that we live in, we are often pulled in so many different directions. That is exhausting. Anyone else ever just want to ‘unplug’ their phone and not answer another text message, notification or email??? Yeah. Us too. That is very normal. We are not created to be in constant contact with other humans. We get to be intentional with the time we do have and a part of self-care is saying, ‘no thank you,’ when we want to say no and saying, “I need some connection,” when we want it, also.
Self-care is all about listening to what you need. Diet culture infiltrates what we think we need and can sell fake promises so easily. That is not your fault. It makes total sense to want to feel better and pursue a stable and safe experience in your body. That is so normal. Our goal in the work that we do is about leaning in to consider what needs you have and how we can intentionally meet those needs.
Feeling sleepy? Let’s think about shifting our nighttime routine to make sleep more accessible
Uncomfortable in your clothing? Let’s talk about that and see how we can honor the body with clothing that is comfortable.
Overwhelmed by your busy schedule? We can consider what responsibilities you do have and how to set boundaries to create margin.
Allllll of this is considered to be self-care actions you can take in your life. Your mind and body have been with you since day one. It might feel scary to consider your needs. That is okay. We promise very few things in this work, but we promise listening to and meeting your needs will be soooo worth it.
We hope you finish reading this blog feeling curious about what self-care is. It can be bubble baths and candles, but it is also SOOOO much more. We would love to be able to wave a magic wand to remove barriers and make self-care easy and always FUN. If we could do that, we would have already done it for you! That is how much we want this for you. While we are indeed not magicians (you’ll be the first to know if we ever figure that out) we do want to walk alongside you as you explore what self-care means for you.
If you have any questions or would like to know more about what it looks like to work with a dietitian to improve your relationship with food, please reach out to us here at Renshaw Nutrition! You can apply to work with our team, or follow us on Instagram for the latest updates and to know when new blogs are shared!
PS - we now have an entire blog on our favorite self-care items! As we mentioned in the blog above, you can’t always BUY self-care. Sometimes it’s hard conversations. Sometimes it’s putting your phone on silent. Sometimes it’s a candle and your favorite heating pad. We made it easy for you to click them and have them delivered to your door. Who doesn’t love that??
This blog was authored by Emily Ervin, MA, LMHC and Meredith Renshaw, RD, LDN